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Wednesday, January 3, 2007

Praise You Through this Storm

God,

My family is falling apart all around me. They are having affairs, harboring hate, breaking bonds, telling lies, changing the way things have always been, and leaving altogether. I hate being in my own house because of it. I get out as often as possible, to the point that I'm getting worried about the gas in my car. This is all ruining the happiness I should be feeling at the early part of my engagement, which my parents are suddenly against as well.

I was officially announced to the youth group tonight as a student leader, and all this is on my mind. I get to announce my small group either next Wednesday or the Wednesday after that, and all this is on my mind. I have to lead whoever signs up for my group, and I don't even know where I'm going myself.

I give up God. I can't take it anymore. I can't handle any of this. I give up on my family and hand them over to you. I am going to focus on my relationship with You, my relationship with Anthony, my new role as a student leader, and definitely my studies. A new semester starts on Monday, and my family is falling apart.

I am NOT going to let this affect my relationships, my responsibilities, or my grades. Lord, I don't know what to do to take care of them anymore, and the only advice I've gotten all around is to pray, so here I am. And I am officially giving up. They're Yours, and I trust You to do with them what is in Your Will.

Help me get through all this. I don't know what to do anymore. I'm at a loss. I'm numb.