Friday, September 29, 2006

I Need a Break

October is going to be a busy month for me. Concerts, costume parties, mid-terms, a big programming assignment due, basketball starting and other related events that I have to go to, class content is getting harder, my mom is going to be out of work all this month and part of next month, etc., etc. Tonight I'm going with Anthony to buy tickets for the Skillet concert we're going to at the House of Horrors on the 20th and then we're getting some ice cream. I feel guilty about going out because I have so much homework to do. All this and I'm really stressed out about my family's money situation. Prayers and encouragement would be great. Thank you so much to all of those who have kept my family and myself in your prayers.

Thursday, September 21, 2006

My Sorority Fiasco

So, I decided I wanted to Rush this year. I don't know why, I just wanted to do it. So I signed up for Rush and went to the parent/daughter orientation. Then I dropped out. Why you ask? Money was tight and I didn't have all the money for all the fees I was going to have to pay (like initiation fees, etc.) so I dropped out before the first official night of Rush. I didn't want to spend my time going through Rush and getting attached to all the girls if at the end of it I wasn't going to be able to join anyway, so I dropped out. But I still wanted to join a sorority.

Enter Alpha Gamma Delta. These girls have been nice to me and invited me to alot of stuff, and I really do want to go to all the things they invite me to because I want to meet them and talk to them about joining. But everytime I get invited to something, I'm not able to go. Let's break this down:

Bid night party - too short on notice (the Pi Chi called me at about 4 and said she'd pick me up at about 5, lol), couldn't go.

Movie night at their house - My parents decided to take me to Pensacola shopping with them and we were gone ALL DAY LONG! By the time we got back I was too tired to go anywhere. So I didn't go.

Phi Mu cookout - Actually, I forgot about tihs one. I needed to go to it anyway to get a school event credit for my freshman seminar, but I completely forgot what day it was and missed it by accident.

Party at their house - My mom tore all of the ligaments AND the tendon in her thumb bowling the day of the party and had to go to the emergency room. I had to stay home and take care of her because she was zonked out on pain medication and she can't do anything without her right hand.

Alpha Gam Jam - Anyone who knows me or who has ever heard me sing knows that a karaoke party is my DREAM hang out. I was SO geared up to go to Alpha Gam Jam because I wanted to sing and I wanted to FINALLY meet the sisters and talk to them about joining. But, it was the day my mom had surgery and I had to make a prescription/coke run to Wal-Mart, you guessed it, just as I was going to leave and head for the sorority commons. Then Wal-Mart messed up her prescription and it ended up taking 2 HOURS to get it filled. So much for Alpha Gam Jam.

So that's it. I'm sure the Alpha Gam girls think I'm trying to avoid them, but I'm really not. And now, since my mom is gonna be out of work for 6 weeks (at least) and I have to pick up the slack with my tiny paychecks and what's left of my student loan from this semester, I'm back where I started: I can't join a sorority because I don't have the money.

God, is this a sign?

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

It Never Ends

I'm having such a bad day. My mom just had surgery, I had to miss work today (so I'm not getting paid), I have a horrible headache, my right knee is hurting so bad I want to cut it off, and Anthony's mad at me because I can't talk to him as much as he wants me to. I wish I could just die right now, but I have to take care of my brother and my mom, then I have to go to a stupid karaoke thing (because I'm required to go to a bunch of events for my Freshman Seminar class) tonight while missing my favorite show and my call with Anthony (who's mad at me anyway), and if I were to die right now I'd be in trouble for not being there for everybody when they needed me.

My knee is absolutely pulsing with pain.

Sunday, September 17, 2006


So my mom hurt her hand and has to have surgery tomorrow. She will be out of work for a very long time and we don't really have the money to cover all that time. Which also means we probably won't have a Christmas this year, and big Christmases are my family's specialty. So things won't be the same around here for about 6 months to maybe even a year. I hate that. Because the money that's gonna be used to pay for my mom's losses is the money that I was gonna pay for my next year of college with. Money is tight right now in the worst way, on top of the fact that my mom's worried about having surgery and I'm worried about her too. I'm trying so hard to practice what I preach: "Let go and let God." But with something this big I'm having trouble. I know I need to trust God to help us through these difficulties and I do, but I can't stop worrying! Please pray for me you guys. In the midst of all this I have at least 3 tests this week and in about 15 minutes I'll be leaving and heading to my youth small group Discipleship Class (which I have to complete in order to lead my own small group next quarter). Life is tough right now, so everyone please pray pray pray and I will too. Words of encouragement would rock. Thanks.