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Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Me Likey Narnia

So, how things have been going with me. Did I ever mention that I decided to change my college major? I've decided to major in CIS (Computer and Information Sciences) with a concentration in ITE (Information Technology) instead of minoring in it, and I've decided to minor in German instead of just taking classes in it. I've dropped psychology as a possible career course. You're just nothing without your doctorate in psychology, and I just think that's more than I could handle. I'd rather be a Computer Systems Analyst or a Web Designer and make more money.

Anyways, I have been obsessed with Narnia lately. I went to the library yesterday and checked out the only 2 Narnia books they had on-shelf, The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe (book 2) and Prince Caspian (book 4). Then I went to Wal-Mart and was going to buy either The Magician's Nephew (book 1) or The Horse and His Boy (book 3), but I found a compact NLT Bible for the same price and decided to get it instead. So we went home and I read both of the books I checked out in one sitting. Nice, lol. I told Anthony that I want either the boxed set or the book with all of them in it (I think it's called The Complete Chronicles or something like that) for my birthday. I really like Narnia. I have since eighth grade, actually. I'm trying to read all of them. But anyways....

I skipped church tonight. No particular reason other than I didn't really have any clean clothes that I wanted to wear and for some reason I'm extremely tired today. I hope I'm not getting sick. But yeah, I guess that's all for this entry. Comments! Bye!

Saturday, December 24, 2005

A Senior's Advice

Some days I end up eating lunch by myself, so I sit there (looking like a loser) and think about things. I'm a senior, so I look back to all those lunches of old. I've never been so alone as I am this year. I guess I can partially attribute that fact to all my friends being older than me and having graduated already, or going to different schools than me. But still, I get sad when I'm all alone. I think of it as the real world hitting me a little bit early. Most people are gonna have to learn the hard way that when they graduate, they become no one ridiculously fast. They suddenly become alone, and they get depressed all at once. For me, it's a slow process all through my senior year that's helping me look forward to college.

I guess the whole point of this sad, depressing wannaba-rant is that I want to pass along some wisdom to the underclassmen:

~Always make good grades, trust me
~The ACT pwns you if you don't start studying and taking it early
~KNOW what you want to major in BEFORE you start college
~"Hold on Loosely" is a good phrase for friendships
~Never sweat the small stuff
~Don't let people bring you down, you're not who they say you are
~Enjoy sad songs
~Don't take your relationships too seriously, marriage is FAR far away
~Treat your teachers good, they only make about $30,000 a year for this crap
~Treat your parents good, they've only got a few more years to spend with you
~Listen to your parents, it turns out working out pretty well for you if you do
~Enjoy every single second of high school, it never comes back

Monday, June 27, 2005

I had such a great night!

Last night was AWESOME! Anthony got to my house around 6:40, and the movie started at 7:15. So we sat on the couch and talked to my grandma for a minute, then my dad took us up to the theater (I'm not allowed to car date w/ him yet). We bought our tickets for Kicking and Screaming, stood around and talked for a while, bought our coke and popcorn (1 of each to share), and went to the theater. I am not even kidding, there were 7 people in that theater counting us. I thought that was kinda funny. Me and Anthony went to the very back where there was a place that there were just 2 seats in a row and sat there. The movie wasn't all THAT great, it was OK and it was funny, but I thought the plot was a little rushed. Anyways, it was really nice. He held me the whole time and I loved it. We kissed a few times and it was great. After the movie I asked him if it was a good first date and he said he liked it! I'm so happy, lol. We went back to my house for about an hour after the movie and watched Adult Swim with my little brother. When Anthony left we kissed goodnight on my front porch and that was the best kiss I've ever gotten and I'm not even playing. I had such a great time last night!

I went to bed about 30 minutes after Anthony left. I woke up at 3:30 burning up and not able to breath. I was like "great, now I'm sick." I went to the doctor today and he just said it was allergies and sinuses, and he gave me a once-every-12-hour pill for congestion that's not working very well. After the doctor, me and my mom went through the drive through at McDonald's for lunch and headed out to Saraland. My aunt works at the VFW sometimes and they had a chair they wanted to get rid of, so we went and got it for my grandma. I told my mom we should go to Wal-Mart while we were out there and surprise Anthony at work, lol. But yeah, we didn't. When we got home I took a nap, when I woke up Eric called me and talked about his and Denise's rockiness and their "break" from being with each other. I so don't want to get them back together. Not because I don't think they should be together, but because I really don't feel like it, lol. I'd rather just mind my own business.

Anyways, this is too long. If you read the whole entry, put a ":0)" in your comment and I'll give you a virtual cookie, lol. Comments! Bye!

Monday, May 23, 2005

Senior Portraits are Coming Up!

Hey guys! I'm feeling much better today! Good stuff.

Yesterday I talked to my mom about me and Anthony. All she said was that [us lying in bed together] better not ever happen again. I was like "Don't even worry about it!" Lol. So that's all good. I'm so glad that she doesn't hate Anthony now! I wish Anthony had called me last night so I could've told him that everything was OK. In his e-mail he sent me last night (that I read this morning) he said he was a nervous wreck and he couldn't sleep. I was like "AWW!!!" I felt so bad about that!

But yeah, on to today. LAST DAY OF SCHOOL! I took my English exam, then called my mom to come get me during P.E. She did, but she was there for 30 minutes before she finally came up to the gym and found me, because stupid Mrs. Henry never told me to leave. I was so mad about that. But anyways, after my mom picked me up we went to the library, then we picked up a dozen doughnuts at Krispy Kreme on the way home (yum!). When we got home we called and scheduled my senior portraits. I go get them done on June 1 at 3 pm. I'm so excited! Woo hoo! One more year! But anyways, then we cleaned house and I went and played guitar. My fingers hurt, man! I finally changed the strings on my acoustic to some extra lights today, so maybe that will help some. As much as I like playing with big strings, they're killing me.

But yeah, that's about it. Comments! Bye!

Saturday, May 14, 2005

This Sucks

I'm depressed again guys. I wish my parents weren't like this. They won't let me go anywhere ever. I have to be in their sight 24/7. I think I've only been somewhere without them maybe 3 times in my life other than school and church. I wish they would let me go somewhere with my friends. I wish they would let me ride with people. I wish they would just let me do what I wanted like everyone else's parents. This is one of those days when I just want to go sit out in the middle of the road and wait for someone to hit me on their way to the movies. I'm so sick of wiping away the tears.

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

A Good Day!

Hey everyone! How are you doing? Well, so far my computer at school is working (I'm on it right now). I had to fix the mouse to get it to work when I got here, but other than that everything's fine. I had fun this morning. Me and Alyssa were doing my take home test (shhh) lol. We were drawing little towers and garages for the triangles in the word problems instead of just lines, lol. It was fun. The test is actually pretty easy now, so I'm not really worried about my test tomorrow in math. What I am worried about is my oral book report. I have to write that tonight and present it tomorrow. It shouldn't be too bad. Things at school are sort of winding down. I'm glad.

And yeah, I've decided to take everyone's advice and start using my old bookbag again. The messenger bag isn't big enough, and it hurts my back just as bad. So I'm just gonna get my old one and wear it higher on my back. When I was in middle school it was cool to wear it down over your butt, but it hurts my back and I'm a loser anyway, so I'm just gonna hike it up, lol. At least I gave it a try with the messenger bag.

But yeah, today is mine and Anthony's 1 month anniversary! I am so happy! I really wish I could see him today. I want to give him a big hug and kiss. I guess that will have to wait. I miss him so bad!

But yeah, I gotta go now. Comments! Bye! P.s. It's a good day today!

Monday, May 9, 2005

I need a break

Hey guys! It's been a really long day. The only good news is that my neck is better. I had kind of a sucky day today. But let me start with yesterday: it was boring. I got up, not able to go to church because we had to move some of my grandma's stuff. So I made my mom breakfast in bed for Mother's Day at about 6 and went back to bed at about 7. I slept til about 10 and that's when all the moving and house cleaning started. Anthony called me at about 4 and we talked for an hour or so before I had to take Dallas outside to play and then eat dinner. I called Anthony back at about 5:45 and we talked for about 2 hours. Then I got online and Anthony was online! So we talked online for a while before I had to get off.

This morning when I got to school my computer was doing all kinds of crazy crap. It took me forever to get the keyboard and the mouse working, and I never did get the internet working. I was so frustrated! Mrs. Mills couldn't fix it either, and she said some kids from 3rd block had been playing back there Friday and messed with stuff. So goody, my computer is ruined now and I probably won't be able to get online in the mornings for the rest of the year. Which also means I can't write Anthony e-mails as much as I want to and I can't update my blog as much as I want to. Grr! The rest of the day was pretty good. I had to stay after school to take a test in Alg. 2/Trig. and get Mr. Agnew to help me with my take home test. After that, I went to the concourse waiting for my mom to come pick me up. The stupid vending machine got my Twix stuck. So I put in more money to just buy another one to make it fall out, which I knew would be a waste of $.75. So I put in my money and pushed the buttons and it gave me Peanut M&Ms. I don't even like Peanut M&Ms! So then I had to do it AGAIN! Wasting a total of $1.50 in the process. I am so mad at the machinery at Baker High School right now. Plus my back hurts. My new bookbag isn't helping any. :::sigh::: Somebody just shoot me right now. (Sorry Anthony, I take it back.)

I'm gonna go now. I have a ton of chores to do plus even more math homework and if I have time for food I have to write my book report after I eat. I hate school. I cried today because I was so frustrated with it all! I just need a break! Well, I gotta go. Comments, please for happiness. Bye.

Friday, May 6, 2005

AP Stuff

Hey guys! Oh my goodness! The AP Exam was a whole lot easier than I thought it would be! It was a multiple choice section and 3 essays (1 long one and 2 short ones). I'm not allowed to talk about the multiple choice section, but I do feel like I did really good on it. Then came the essays. The first one was a Document Based Question, and the question was something like "To what extent did the Revolution change American society?" That was really easy. I felt pretty good about that one. The second essay was a choice between two questions. They were both really hard, so I just chose the lesser of 2 evils and wrote about how "the debates over the Mexican War and its aftermath showed the sectional division between New England, the South, and the West." That one was craptastical, lol. The third essay was also a choice between 2 questions. I don't even know what the first one was about, but the second one was about reform movements in the 60's and 70's. I saw that and I was like "Oh, I got this." Lol. It listed 3 movements and told you to write about 2 of them. I did Civil Rights and Antiwar against Vietnam. I felt REALLY good about that one! Going into the test I was like "I hope it's a bunch of Vietnam stuff!" Vietnam is my specialty, lol. But seriously, half the stuff on the test was either questions we had on the practice tests, stuff that I just know by heart, or stuff I had studied the night before, so I feel like I did pretty good. The only bad thing is that I won't know untill like July or August what I made! Grr. Lol.

But yeah, in other news, The Lit came out today! The Lit is Baker's student literary and art magazine. I have 5 poems and 1 story in there, my friend Holly has a poem in there, and my friend Eric has a poem in there. It looks really awesome. I got a free copy because I'm a contributor and I was on staff and my mom got a free copy because she was a patron. I love it! It's alot better than last year's, and there are more actual stories in this one as opposed to a whole bunch of poems. But overall it rocks. I'll have to buy a copy for Anthony so he can brag about me some more, lol.

I'm kinda sad today, because it was the seniors' last day! They're all gone! Aww. Oh well. They had to graduate sometime. I just hope they all stay safe at the parties and stuff. The prank was funny. They wrote "SEENYAS OF '05" in duct tape on the front of the school, lol.

Well, I gotta go now. Comments from my peeps! Bye!

Thursday, May 5, 2005

I'm hungry, lol

Hey guys! So yeah, I would've updated this morning, but I got to school and the power was out. Last night at about 8 something a transformer blew. Wonderful! So we were on back-up power untill sometime during 3rd block. Half the lights were out in the hallways (literally every other light), the air conditioner didn't work (which, since Baker literally has NO windows, really sucked), and the plugs didn't work (which meant the computers didn't work). So I couldn't get on the computer this morning, and I was mad because I wanted to check my e-mail from Anthony and write him back! But it's all good. I listened to Morgan's mp3 player and studied for the AP Exam. I officially want an mp3 player now you guys, lol.

But yeah, the AP Exam is tomorrow morning. AAAAH! What I'm worried about is the free response section, because I haven't had any practice with those. Man, that really sucks. But yeah, tomorrow morning (before the exam) our Christian club Gamma Omega Delta is having a going-away party for all the seniors cuz it's their last day. I'm gonna cry! But yeah, I have to make cookies for that. I'm kinda worried because I only have enough for one batch, but that's OK because at this point in the year not a whole lot of people show up to the meetings anyway, plus everybody else is bringing food too. So there'll probably still be enough for everybody to have 2, lol.

Well, I'm gonna go now. I have alot of stuff to do! See everyone later. Leave me some comments, even though I won't read them untill this time tomorrow, lol. Just pray for me with the exam guys! Bye!

Saturday, April 30, 2005

Collegey stuff again plus sickness

Hey everyone! Yesterday turned out to be a pretty good day. The lettering ceremony went by really fast. Afterwards my mom got me out and we went to Rick's to order my letterman jacket. I'm so excited about my jacket! Even though I'll get it in June and it'll sit around the house for 6 months, lol. I don't know, I get cold pretty easy, it might only be 4 months, lol. Then after we ordered my jacket we went to Sabor a Mexico and ate lunch. It was good. We sat there and talked about college the whole time and how I was gonna try to pay for it. Really stressful stuff. Not looking forward to all that. I've already filled out my application for South though, I just have to turn that in to Mrs. Noojin to apply for ACEP. If I make ACEP I get a free class! Woo hoo! Anyways, lol.

Last night after I ate my pizza, I went in my room and out of boredom decided I wanted to sing. So standing around my room singing I all of a sudden got really weak and nauseous. My mom told me it was probably exhaustion (I've slept about 10 hours in like 3 days) and told me to go lay down. That was at about 6:30 or 7 and I had to fight to stay awake untill Anthony called me at about 7:20 or 7:30. I was trying to stay awake the whole time we were on the phone. After Anthony had to go back to work, I turned out the lights and went to bed at about 7:55. About 10 minutes later Sara called me and said all her friends ditched her at the Ugly Mug and asked me if I could come up there with her. I told her I couldn't because I was sick. I felt bad for her though, she sounded like she was about to cry. I know what it's like to be in a room full of people and be all alone. After I got off the phone with Sara I went back to bed. Ten minutes later I got a wrong number on my cell phone. Then I went to sleep.

This morning I woke up to a tapping on my roof. It sounds like rain is leaking through the outside roof over my room onto my ceiling. Wonderful. I can't wait 'til it soaks through. [/sarcasm] *Sigh* The good news is that I feel 100% better than I did last night. Well anyways, I'm gonna go get some breakfast cuz I'm hungry. Pizza sounds good. See you guys later. Comments, please!

Sunday, April 24, 2005

ACT Scores!

I didn't go to church today. My mom and dad and Dallas wanted to go "riding around." Me and my mom got in a huge fight and I started crying like crazy and it just ruined my whole day. I talked to Doug for a minute after that and he helped me feel a little better. I went to my room and layed down for a while then I ate some pizza and some pudding. I got online and started doing all kinds of weird stuff to my Xanga. You guys like the changes, by the way? But yeah, Anthony called at about 3:30 and we talked for about 30 or 40 minutes untill he had to go to band practice. He said he would call me later tonight and I hope he does. I miss him really bad!

Well, a little while after that my parents got home. Me and my mom got online and wanted to see my ACT scores early. It cost us $8, but I'm happy about that anyway! Here's my scores:

ACT Composite: 29
English: 33
Mathematics: 23
Reading: 29
Science: 32

That's pretty good. I want to take it again, because I know I could probably do better, but my mom won't let me. She's all happy and she thinks I made like the highest score ever, lol. I want better, but I guess I can live with a 29. I just want to be able to get some good scholarships, because I am almost FULLY relying on scholarships to pay for college. At least now I can start applying for colleges early and stuff. Maybe I will be able to afford Mobile on a 29. Praying! Lol.

Well, I'm gonna go now. Bye! Comments!

Best Birthday Ever!

I HAVE HAD THE BEST BIRTHDAY EVER TODAY!

OK, I'll start from the beginning. I woke up and ate pizza for breakfast while all of my family wished me a happy birthday. Then me and my parents and my little brother Dallas went to Orange Beach to eat Mexican food (I love Mexican food, lol). Then we went to Pensacola where I bought 2 new shirts (one of which I'm wearing right now) and 2 new pairs of pants (one of which I'm wearing right now). Then I came home, got online for a little bit, and cleaned house a little in preparation for Anthony to come over.

When Anthony got here at about 7 we ate pizza and cake. Then I opened my present from him which was 2 CDs (one that he bought and one that he burned) and a Showbread sticker. I really liked the card the best though, it was so sweet! Then me and Anthony sat next to each other playing on the computer while my brother Tyler played XBOX in the background and Dallas kept bothering us, lol. At about 8:30 we managed to get Dallas to leave. Thirty minutes later (I don't know why I was watching the clock, lol) we kissed! I am so HAPPY! Then we said "I love you" for the first time! Then while we were going through the songs on my computer we picked our song, kinda by accident, lol. It's what I'm listening to right now: "Captivated" by Slow Coming Day. I hated it when Anthony had to leave at 10. It's about 10:30 right now, so maybe he's home by now. I just know I already miss him! I hope I get to see him at church tomorrow morning.

But yeah, I'm gonna go do the weekly devotion now for Hardcore Devotion. Bye everyone! Comments!

Thursday, April 21, 2005

Just Stuff

Hey everyone! How is everybody? I'm good. Church was good last night. I'm at school right now, and I'll probably have the whole of first block to play on the internet again, lol. Once again, we're allowed 2 days to do a project that I finished in 30 minutes, lol. I hope she gives us the whole day to do it, anyway. I don't feel like doing any work today. I'm too lazy today, lol.

I feel old now, lol. I signed up for my senior classes yesterday. ONE MORE YEAR! Now I just have to worry about getting accepted (which I know I can pretty much get in where ever I want to go) and more importantly getting scholarships. I want to go to University of Mobile and it's private, so it's over twice as much a year to go there as it is to go to University of South Alabama. I really hope I get some good scholarships! But yeah, here are the classes I signed up for:

English 12 Honors (they said AP wouldn't make, so I just didn't sign up for it)
Government/Economics AP (this one will make)
Algebra 3/Statistics (I don't even need another math, but this is an easy A, lol)
Forensic Science (new class! I'm really excited about this one!)
German 1
German 2
Chorus (my fourth year of Chorus! Woo hoo!)
Graphic Design (because I love playing w/ graphics on the computer)

Mrs. Noojin (the senior counselor) said that seniors usually get all of the classes they sign up for, so I hope I get all mine. I'm happy because Holly will probably be in my German classes and Chris Pickerill will probably be in one of my German classes and my Forensic Science class. Yay! Friends! Lol.

Speaking of friends, I wonder what's up with Brittanie? We used to be best friends and now I never even see her anymore. I couldn't tell you the last time she called me, and even then I was talking to Anthony on AIM while I was on the phone, so I didn't pay attention (oops, lol). Oh well, friends come and friends go. At least it didn't hurt. Maybe one day we will be friends again.

But yeah, I'm gonna go now. Comments! Bye!

Monday, April 18, 2005

"Closer"

The harder you cry
The harder I fall
I wanted to die
You gave me your all
My life is yours
And your life is mine
Deep down in our souls
Our lives intertwine
We move closer each day
To becoming one heart
It hurts every minute
That we are apart
I'm ready to do
Whatever it takes
To hold you forever
And not let your heart break

Friday, April 15, 2005

I almost lost something incredible...

Hey guys. Oh my gosh! I almost lost Anthony yesterday! It was so scary! It's a long story, so get the comfortable chair and grab some popcorn and orange soda. Hope you're ready to dig in!

OK, well you know how I said I hadn't exactly told my mom yet that me and Anthony were boyfriend/girlfriend now? It's mostly because I was scared to tell her. I didn't know how she would take it. But she found out yesterday. In the worst...possible...way. It was so horrible.

When I got home from school yesterday, my mom gave me the short list of chores, as usual, and I sat down my stuff and went to work. Well, I was distracted by the computer in the middle of my chores, as usual, and I signed on to check my e-mail. I had one from Anthony, so I read it and started writing a reply. If only you guys knew the things me and Anthony write to each other. It's nothing like BAD, it's just all love-letter type stuff. Well, my mom caught me playing around and told me to go fold clothes. I didn't know I would be gone that long and I didn't think my mom would read my e-mail, so half-way through writing a reply and not wanting to lose what I had written, I just minimized the page and walked away to do my work.

When I came back into the room, (I knew it was gonna happen) my mom was reading the e-mail. She was FURIOUS. She exploded in anger on me. She told me I couldn't go out with Anthony, I wasn't going to church anymore, and that when Anthony called she was gonna tell him never to call again. All that because she thinks 2 years is too much. I panicked. I was gonna lose everything all at once. My boyfriend, my best friend, and my place of fellowship with God. I cried and I begged my mom not to do that. I pleaded with her not to do that and not to ban me from talking to Anthony. She finally said that we would let my dad handle it when he got home.

So I went in my room to finish reading Crime and Punishment (which I finished and have a test on today, by the way) until my dad got home. When he came in, me and my mom and my dad went into the kitchen. My mom made me explain the whole situation to my dad. THANK GOD my dad likes Anthony even though he's never met him. Not only does my dad think the age difference is fine and he likes Anthony anyway, but he wants to let me and Anthony actually date and go out places! You can imagine how ecstatic I was about that! The conditions are that my parents want to meet Anthony first and that we're not allowed to car date, which I've never been allowed to do anyway, so I gladly agreed! Now we just have to see if Anthony's mom will let him come to my house for dinner on my birthday. I've already met his mom and she likes me, so that's good. I'm not sure if she knows that we're boyfriend/girlfriend yet, but I think she'd be happy with it. I'm glad that now me and Anthony can be together without any secrecy or worry about parents hating it.

I am so relieved that my parents like Anthony! I wish that had all come about in a different way, but I'm just glad that everything's settled now and I can just relax and be happy with my incredible boyfriend!

It was weird explaining all that to Anthony on the phone last night. I know it freaked him out when I said "ban me from talking to you" and paused, lol. Sorry Sweetie, if I scared you! But when he found out that my parents are OK with us being together and even dating, he was very happy. So we got to relax and talk about anything and everything like we normally do.

Yesterday was hectic, but it turned out for the better. Today is going to be fun because me and Holly are going to the Spring Fling together. Holly is my HomeGirl, lol. She's my little sister now, too! Woo hoo! Lol. And then tomorrow is the walk-a-thon, which I am so excited about! We're gonna have games and free doughnuts and pizza and gatorade and water and bands and contests and all kinds of fun stuff! I hope that turns out really great. All in all I've raised $78 (counting if I walk the full 10 K), and my goal was $100. So I came pretty close and I'm overall happy with myself and my accomplishments. Well, I gotta go now! Sorry this was so long you guys! Leave me some long comments as payback, lol! Bye!

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

I Lettered!

Hey guys! Once again, I'm at school writing this. But I actually finished my work super early today. So I've been playing on the internet and thinking about Anthony! My birthday is getting really close and I can't wait to see what he gets me! I am so excited because he gets to come over to my house and hang out that night (looks like we'll miss the concert kiddies, oh well)! My mom is perfectly OK with him coming over. I haven't told her yet that he's officially my boyfriend now. I'm not exactly sure how to tell her. What do I do? "Hey mom, here's the mail and OH! By the way, me and Anthony are going out now." I'm just gonna let her figure it out by herself and if she asks me I'll tell her the truth. I'll probably end up telling her on my birthday cuz it looks like that's the first time she'll be able to meet him. And Anthony, don't be nervous! I'm sure she'll love you.

Guess what I found out this morning? I lettered in academics! Woo hoo! 3.7 GPA with no D's. Oh yeah! Now I have an excuse to buy a letterman jacket, lol. Let's see if I can talk my parents in to that one! Yeah, that'll never happen. I'll just have a really nice letter on the shelf.

But yeah, that's it. Surprisingly it's not as long as usual! Lol. Bye! Leave me some comments!

Saturday, April 9, 2005

A Loooooooooong Day

Hey everyone! Today has been a really long day. I took the ACT for the first time this morning. I don't think I did very good at all. I sucked on the math part and I didn't even get to finish the reading part. I don't think I did very good at all. I'm gonna take it again in June. I just hope I get a good score soon, because all the applications and scholarship stuff is due December 1. This bothers me you guys. I'm worried about college.

But yeah, my parents are going to my great grandma's wake tonight. The funeral is tomorrow. I'm not going, but I'm still gonna have to miss church because there won't be anyone to take me or pick me up from church and my mom won't let me ride with anyone. So I won't be able to see Anthony untill next Sunday. He's gonna try to come to my chruch next Wednesday, but I don't know if that will work out. I hope it does. I miss him so bad.

I wanted Anthony to meet my mom tomorrow, but I guess he won't be able to. Now he won't have a chance to meet her untill my birthday. Oh well. We probably won't get to go to the concert because I've been unsuccesful in finding other people to go with us (and my mom won't let me go anywhere with just him). So yeah, he'll probably end up coming to my house to watch movies and eat dinner. Which is equally as cool in my opinion.

But yeah, I'm gonna go now. Comments! Bye!

Monday, April 4, 2005

Back in Class

Well, spring break is over and I'm back in school again. In fact, I'm writing this from my computer class. Oh well, at least the year is almost over! And next year I'll be a senior. I'm kinda worried about that though. I'm not ready for the real world! I have to take the ACT this Saturday and I spent most of the weekend looking at colleges and scholarships and trying to decide my majors and stuff. I've decided I'm gonna take 2 majors (Psyhcology and Computer Information Systems) and 1 minor (Music, just because I can't stop singing and I can get scholarships for this). That might amount to 5 years of college, but that's OK. The main thing I'm worried about is how I'm gonna pay for college. I've pretty much decided that I want to go to the University of Mobile (and no, it's not just because that's where Anthony goes, lol). It's a private university, so I'm gonna need that much more tuition and that many more scholarships. I'm working on an essay right now for a $300 scholarship. I know it's not much, but every little bit helps. I'm trying to avoid any kind of loan if at all possible.

But yeah, enough about that. Yesterday I got to spend some alone time with God after I got home from small groups (which was really fun, by the way). It felt really good to get into the Word like that. I got some ideas for some devotions for my site (Hardcore Devotion) while I was reading, so I'll have to get to work on writing those so I'll have them ready for the next few weeks.

While I was reading last night Anthony called me on his cell phone from Ruby Tuesday's. No particular reason to call, he just wanted to say hi and he missed me. I thought that was really sweet! It brightened up my day.

Well, I guess this is long enough. Bye everyone! Comments!

Thursday, March 17, 2005

Jeremiah needs to go away

Hey everybody. Drama everywhere!

Well last night was the first night doing worship without Tyler at the helm (he and Jennifer got married Saturday and have 3 months off ministry). And it was still as awesome. I liked having Wendy singing, because now it's all in keys in her range, so I can actually sing it in my range! And Cody did a great job on drums (Trey took over guitar)! He was awesome! I thought they did a great job last night.

What I didn't like about last night was that Jeremiah showed up right before service and stayed for a couple minutes. I don't know what he was there for, but I didn't want him there at all. At the first sight of him I cringed and I felt this heat rise up inside me and I almost felt like I wanted to hit him. I guess that's what hate really feels like (but I don't hate people, so I just dislike him). I said "Hey Jeremiah" and he looked at me for a split second and said "Hey" with this "oh, it's you" attitude. Which is what I expected and almost what I wanted. I'm just glad he didn't stay. I suspect him of getting back into drugs. He's really let himself go and he looks kinda bad. He's letting his hair grow out and he hasn't shaved in God knows how long and it looks horrible on him. In my opinion, only guys with dark hair look good with facial hair.

But yeah, enough about that loser. I miss Anthony1 He didn't call me or e-mail me yesterday, so I haven't heard from him since Tuesday. I'm trying not to let that bother me though. I'm gonna have to learn to live without talking to him everyday. He has been studying lately, so I'm proud of him for that. I just hope I get to talk to him this afternoon, but he has to get two (I think) teeth filled, so he probably won't be able to call me and that's OK. If he can't call me I'll just talk to him Friday.

Anthony said in his Xanga that he already knows what he's getting me for my birthday. I told him he didn't need to get me anything, but he probably will anyway, lol. I can't wait untill my birthday! I want to see what he got me! He is the sweetest guy in the universe! I just hope I can get him something good for his birthday.

This morning Denise was crying because Eric's being a jerk to her. I'm gonna talk to him. I told her I didn't care if Eric got mad at me, it would be nothing new. But I'm not gonna let him make my friend cry like she did this morning and probably was last night.

But yeah, this is long so I'm gonna go now. Comments!

Monday, March 7, 2005

Happy Happy Happy!

You guys, I am the happiest person in the world right now! Last night I skipped small groups and talked to Anthony for like 2 and a half hours! We kept telling each other all this nice stuff about each other, and I cried a few times. But he told me that he really really liked me and I almost burst into tears! I have liked him since I met him. The first time I ever hugged him I fell so hard for him!

But yeah, since my mom won't let me date him, we're not going out. He said he would wait for me, though! I can't believe anyone would want to wait for me, much less a great guy like Anthony. But hey, as long as he waits for me, I will wait for him (and probably longer)! I just hope we're able to hang out more than just once a week at church. It's not enough. I really need to see him more.

Well, I better go now. Comments you guys!

Friday, February 18, 2005

A Much Better Day

Hey everyone! Today's been better. This morning was the best. I'm a member of my school's Christian club, Gamma Omega Delta, which meets every Friday morning. Well, this year some people who decided they didn't like Gamma formed their own group (which was unable to gain club status) called Fish, which is a Bible study that meets every morning.

Well, we have been trying to get the members of Fish to join us, and this morning they did. They all liked it, we made them feel as welcome as possible, and they are willing to band together with us for the walk-a-thon for Brandon Werstler.

I am getting pumped for this walk-a-thon. I know at least 3 people who are going to walk with me, and 2 radio stations and who knows how many bands are supposed to be there already. And it's not even untill April 16! I hope I get alot of sponsors, because I want to raise alot of money. But yeah, I'll keep you guys posted on the clubs and the walk-a-thon! Bye!

Monday, February 14, 2005

My Sad Valentine

Hey everybody. I stayed up late last night trying to finish reading The Grapes of Wrath for English. I didn't go to bed untill 11:30, I laid there and cried for an hour, and I had to wake up at 4:30. I don't really know why I cried. I guess I was just so tired of being alone. I still am. I guess it's just because it's Valentine's Day. I know it's early in the day yet, but I've seen pretty much all of my friends today and I'll I've gotten was a mini chocolate heart and a chocolate Kiss. But I've given out candy bags. It drains me to give love out to everyone and get none of it back.

I talked to my friend Eric yesterday. He's been feeling distanced from Denise (his finacé and my friend who gave me the chocolate heart) and he needed to talk to someone. He cried, and that was the first time I've ever seen (or heard, actually) him cry. He says he goes through the motions at school and at work and then he comes home, turns on the radio even though he doesn't hear it, sits in a chair, and stares at the wall untill someone tells him to get a shower and go to bed. He said he feels comatose. I told him to pray, but he said everytime he gets an answer from God it's not what he wants to hear. I told him God knows what's best, but he still doesn't want to pray. So I told him I would pray for him and he said thanks.

Eric also made my day yesterday (at least for a little while). He told me that I'm a good person and when he has kids he hopes his sons marry someone like me someday. That made me feel a little better. Well anyway, I just hope I get out of this depression. I'll talk to everyone later. God Bless!

Thursday, February 10, 2005

Friend Drama

Wow, so today was another trudging day in my not-such-a-life life. I had to go back to school after Mardi Gras break today, which I didn't want to do. But at least tomorrow's Friday! Yay!

Anyway, there is a big mess going on right now with some of my friends. My best friend Brittanie has either 2 or 3 boyfriends right now (we're not sure about one of them and she's not talking): Beau, Josh, and possibly another Josh. Beau is serious about their relationship, and he wants to stay with her even though he knows she cheated on him. I told him that was great and noble and all, but she's not gonna change. She was supposed to break up with one of the Josh's today with me as her witness, but she didn't do it. I even reminded her in case she "forgot," but she said she didn't want to do it. I want to tell Beau that he should forget Brittanie and move on to something better, but I don't know if he'll listen!

It's such an internal conflict for me. Brittanie is my best friend, but Beau is like my big brother and he always helps and comforts me when I have a problem. He is looking for a serious relationship (he's 25 and he's getting antzy about marriage), and Brittanie is NOT going to give him that and she is NOT going to change. And if I can't get through to Beau, I can TRY to get through to Brittanie and explain to her that she needs to pick one guy at a time and that she needs to grow up. And even though I love her to death, this girl is thick and she is stubborn. You can't tell her anything, because she always thinks her way is better and she does what she wants. So I don't know. The relationship isn't going to work and I'm trying to tell them that now to save them some pain and trouble and neither of them will listen to me.

You see why I'm always depressed? I take on other people's pain and problems and hurts because I want to fix everyone and everything and I want everyone to be happy. I love everybody so hard it's no wonder it hurts me so bad when people leave my life. I thought about Jeremiah last night and I cried so hard. He's been gone for 2 months and I cried last night. I wasn't ready for him to go. Oh well, I'll get over him eventually.

Well, sorry I loaded you with my drama. I need an outlet every now and then or I explode. If anyone has any advice for me, HELP!!!

Sunday, January 23, 2005

Is my church for me?

I've been having problems lately at church. I keep spacing out and wondering if it's really where I belong. Ever since Jeremiah and everyone else left, it hasn't been the same. I don't feel like I'm getting nurtured there as much as I used to. I don't know. I love the worship, but the message seems to be going downhill. Maybe if I just hold out it will get better. I really don't have a choice about what church to go to, because my parents drive me (I go alone) and they wouldn't be willing to drive me any farther than up the street to church. But like I said, I will just hold on and pray and hope it gets better.

Friday, January 21, 2005

Some Drunk Dude Wrecked My Lawn!

Alright, the only reason I think this is so hillarious is because everyone involved was OK.

I live on the top of a hill where a road curves. It's a bad spot, because anyone going too fast over the hill can't turn and they come pretty close to my yard. I also live next door to a small wholesale used car lot.

Well, last night at about 10 o'clock, me and my mom were watching VH1 Classics discussing '80s music when we heard tires screech and then 3 loud crashes. My mom ran outside and told me to call 911. I was only on the phone with 911 for a few minutes, because alot of wrecks happen near me so they knew exactly where to go when I said where the wreck was.

When I got off the phone I went outside to see what had happened. It was a blue BRAND NEW Honda Civic laying on the driver's side in the middle of the car lot (luckily the cars were all parked up front and he wrecked in the back). The driver was already out and the passenger was climbing out when I got there. The first thing the driver said was "Don't call the police!" He was drunk as all get out, and he was a Coast Guard guy (the Coast Guard base is across the street from me. I live in a busy area!). Oh, the trouble he knew he was in.

What happened was the 2 guys came flying over the hill literally doing over 100 mph and couldn't turn. They hit the fire hydrant in my front yard (no, water didn't spew out of it, lol), sending it flying into the middle of busy Tanner Williams Road. This also sent the car sideways. In an attempt to stop, he slammed on brakes and skidded through the soft ground, where he dug in untill he hit my concrete driveway, knocking a hunk out of it. This sent the car flipping through my yard, leaving pieces of his car and one of his rims all over my lawn, through the fence of the car lot, and on its side in the lot, facing the direction it came from.

What was funny was the passenger walked over to me and said "What did they do?" I'm thinking "They? YOU WERE IN THE CAR!!!"

They moved the car and all the debris, but the messed up fence is still there.

But yeah, since I'm a member of SADD (students against drunk driving) I thought this would make an interesting post and eventually an interesting story for my club to hear. So yeah, sorry this was so long!

Monday, January 3, 2005

My Grandma is finally in my room

Well, my grandma is officially sleeping in my room now. I got to sleep in my room last night, but I have a new bed with new sheets and a new comforter and new pillows and a new setup in my room with new lighting and new sounds and now I have to sleep with the door open, so I barely slept. I hope I get used to this soon, because school starts back tomorrow and I'm going to need plenty of beauty rest!

I just don't know how long I'll last feeling blech like this. I just want stability and everything to normal back out. I can get used to the new setup and new classes and new people to hang out with at lunch. I just want Jeremiah to be back to normal so he can be my friend again. It hurts me to see him so different.

Well, I'm outta stuff to say, so I'll make another entry later. Maybe I'll come back tomorrow and post my schedule. God bless!

Saturday, January 1, 2005

Happy New Year!

Well, my day (year) started off pretty crappy, actually. No sleep, everything sucks, but I'll get over it.

The main reason everything is so crappy is that I haven't slept in my own bed since December 19, so I'm getting pretty cranky lately, lol. My grandma is sleeping in my bed untill we can buy her one to move into my room. My grandma is moving in with us, by the way. I'm kinda blech about it, cuz I've only had my own room for about 10 months, and now I have to share again. I just hope and pray things get better.

But yea, I'm supposed to be getting a cell phone soon, and I'm happy! I'm also supposed to FINALLY get my driver's liscence. Once I get those, it won't matter if I have my own room, cuz I'ma be gone all the time!

But you know what else sux? All my @hardcoredevotion.cjb.net e-mails are down, so I just have to hope nobody sends me an e-mail on them, or I won't get it! Now I'ma cry.

Well, I'll end this entry here! Leave me a comment!